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Snowball the Pony’s 5 Favourite Issues Concerning the Apocalypse

Pricey Fellow Equines,

It has not too long ago come to my consideration that
the world is altering. And I don’t imply that the brilliant factor within the sky is up
there for longer, or that the scrumptious, tasty grass has began to sprout from
the bottom once more. No, I’m speaking about this factor that I hold listening to the barn
servants point out known as a “pandemic.”

Now, I don’t know what a “pandemic” is (and admittedly, I’m a horse, so I actually don’t care), however from what I’ve seen thus far, that is going to be an actual plus for the equine group at massive. Do I miss my hairless treat-feeder coming round? You guess I do. That bag of peppermints isn’t going to stroll itself to my stall, that’s for darn positive. However general, there are some actual positives about our barn getting locked down.

So, with out additional ado, I current to you my 5 favourite issues about this pandemic factor. Please learn and be ready to debate on the subsequent pasture assembly.

Sincerely,

Snowball the PonyPasture Queen

“I’m that b—.” ©Anastasiya Pozniak

1. My solely job is to eat

I. Love. Meals. I like it above all else on this planet and I really like all types of it. Grass. Hay. Treats. Grain. The occasional stick and/or bramble that trespass on my pasture. One time I even tried to chew on my human, though I discovered her style to be lower than fascinating. (Additionally, I might describe her response to that experiment as “extremely resistant.”)

With nothing else to do as of late, my solely duty seems to be making certain that I get an excellent meal. Which is, actually, the very best factor that’s ever occurred to me.

Even higher, with out anybody round to make me waste valuable energy by trotting in ENDLESS circles, I’m proud to say that my efforts at maximizing meals consumption are extra profitable than ever. If I sustain my present fee of consumption, I’m hoping to utterly outgrow my girth by early summer season, additional delaying the onset of any actual work.

2. We lastly get a Spring Break

I consider that we equines have lastly moved into the golden age of what our people name “Spring Break.” With no work to do, we’re free to decide on our days and our laze. I do know I’m personally happy that there’s no extra “dressage” to be discovered. (See: earlier remark in regards to the circles and the trotting.) I consider Thunder the lesson pony is moderately delighted that he hasn’t needed to train a toddler their diagonals in weeks.

I extremely advocate all of us capitalize on this time. Personally, I took 4 naps yesterday and intend to enhance upon that rating in the present day.

In actual fact, let’s all take a second and cross our hooves that this new period extends effectively into the longer term. I’ll even exit on a limb right here and say that I’m positive the people are equally happy on the absence of that horrible “dressage.”

3. No extra pictures

I really like my human, I do. She’s at all times so completely satisfied to see me, and even the few occasions I’ve left her within the mud for an egregious error like attempting to journey on a windy day or throughout meal occasions, I’m typically fairly completely satisfied to have her round. One factor I might do with out although is the extreme variety of what she calls “pics.”

I don’t know why all treat-feeders like to stare creepily at that tiny field. I do know the minute she begins to level it at me, I’m in for what seems like hours of “pics.” That is nearly at all times accompanied by my human frantically clicking, crinkling deal with wrappers or tossing issues behind her. I do know what you’re attempting to do right here treat-feeder. I simply don’t see the purpose.

And don’t even get me began on the “selfies.” If I’ve to put on yet another humorous hat or headband whereas she giggles uncontrollably, somebody’s going dwelling with mud stains on their breeches.

4. Nothing has been strapped to me in weeks

I don’t know what the treat-feeders obsession is with leather-based straps (it’s really a bit of sick, when you ask me), however I’ve watched with absolute glee by the tack room window because the saddles, surcingles, pads and bridles have acquired a thick layer of mud.

I take pleasure in an excellent gallop across the fields and the odd leap over a hedge as a lot as the following pony. But when I by no means do one other 20-meter circle, it’ll be too quickly. I can’t even measure (as a result of once more, I’m a horse), and I can undoubtedly let you know that your circles are lopsided and too massive, treat-feeder.

In actual fact, I’m completely satisfied to report that the one factor I’ve worn within the final couple of weeks is a thick layer of mud. Which brings me to my subsequent level…

5. Nobody is right here to scrub me off

You realize what actually grinds my hooves? The second I get the right brown and inexperienced layered highlights in my shiny white coat, somebody exhibits up with a software (or, heaven forbid, a hose) to take away it. It’s pony torture, when you ask me.

I’m actually fairly happy with my present look by the best way—mud, manure stains, and clumps of not too long ago shed winter coat. Like a correct pony.

So in conclusion: whereas there’s a disturbing lack of treats being shoved in my normal path, I prefer to suppose that we’re all lastly residing like the nice mustangs and Shetlands that roamed the plains earlier than us: Protected, locked in a grassy paddock, being fed three sq. meals a day and getting blanketed when it drops under 60 levels.

Similar to our ancestors would have wished.

See? This pandemic isn’t all unhealthy.
The publish Snowball the Pony’s 5 Favourite Issues Concerning the Apocalypse appeared first on Horse Community.

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